Sunday, November 22, 2009

On Being Left Behind

Did you know that yesterday was National Survivors of Suicide Day? How crazy is that? I hate the fact that there is a need for this day at all, but I'm glad us survivors get recognized.

I recently talked about this very subject in a post just less than two weeks ago. Remember? And I have even talked in the past about my own battles with depression & suicide. So, I've been there, on both sides, which truly suck. Although very truthful, sharing those realizations & thoughts was not at all easy. Neither was my journey to get to this point, but regardless, here I am.

Every question, every tear - both by the thousands, maybe millions. Countless emotions both crammed down & (sometimes, reluctantly) shared with the close trusted few. Sleepless nights spent trying to piece together where it actually went oh-so-wrong. Attempting to figure out if you could have done anything to change the fate that they had chosen for themselves.

To figure out why they left you behind.

Not one second, not one minute of it is ever easy. Never.

But it does get easier. When? well - that's different for everyone. Some days, some weeks, some years, are difficult - very difficult. To this day - there are times - even years later, I'm hit out of no where & like that I'm a mess again. But... I don't have to stay a mess.

And neither do you. So, if you were someone left behind, know that you are not alone. There is always someone that has been there, someone who understands. Even if that someone is a stranger. I didn't get here - to the place I am at - all by myself.

Yes, we are out here... those of us who do the very best we can... those of us who are left behind.

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  1. It is so hard. My mom was in and out of locked wards when I was young. I know she tried to kill herself once, my sister found her. It's not talked about at all. I have fought depression for years. Take drugs for at least 10 years and stopped about 2 years ago. Life is hard. I am so sorry for all that you have been through. My daughter has OCD/BDD and has been talking suicide for 15 years. It breaks my heart, I am so exhausted with the stress of life. ((HUGS))

  2. Thanks for sharing with us. This is really a topic that needs more light shed on it!


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