Lent: Something Deeper (Day 1)

Today is Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent.

At first I couldn't decide what to give up for Lent. Facebook? Blogging? All other drinks, except for water? Some type of food? Some game I play? Texting? Or how about TV? Eating out? And the list goes on & on.

Something didn't sit right with me. I wanted something deeper. Something with more meaning. Something that would compliment this journey I have found myself on. This class I take on Monday nights at my church, has given me much to think about. And as a result, I've become more aware than ever before, especially when it comes to my thoughts, feelings & reactions. I see the world around me different than before.

Then it came to me. I had just wrote yesterday about being out of my comfort zone. So what if what I gave up is something not tangible, but something that would keep me out of my comfort zone. Something that would to encourage my growth, to further my journey. Something that will - no doubt - challenge me.

So I decided to give up a defense mechanism. Avoidance. Strange I know. I have decided to give up avoiding things, whatever those things are. So, basically, if I think about having to do something whether it be something like going somewhere unpleasant, doing something that I would rather not do, or telling something to whomever that I rather not tell, I must do it, regardless.

Let me tell you - this will not be easy. At all. There is a lot of stuff I avoid, especially lately. All ready today I have:

Went back to bed after getting up early to talk to Jake (something I often avoid doing even though I need to sleep & lately I have been exhausted);

After he started to vent to me this morning & in turn started yelling at me about things that were out of my control, I told him (in a nice way) that things suck right now & there's little I can do about it, but yelling at me just wouldn't make things better (usually I would just let him go & not say anything right there in the moment);

In order to get ready for tonight's Ash Wednesday service tonight, I got a shower hours ago (normally I would wait like two hours before we were to leave);

Already I started to de-clutter things around me, something that I've been avoiding for way too long.

And finally, although I don't know why & it does seem strange, I sat down to write this post, something that I seemed to be putting off, so I sat down and began to type. Perhaps it has to do with accountability.

So, that's it. For the next 40 days - actually longer, but you are not supposed to count Sundays - I will do things I've been avoiding. Wish me luck as this will not be easy. Then again, the best rewards in life are never truly easy.