It's 4:30 AM & again, I can't sleep. I've been up all night or damn near it in pain. I think rain is near. Its either that or just the change in the weather in general.
Gosh, I can't wait for Wednesday. I am so very ready to tell you everything that I have been holding in. That's a good thing, I guess.
The funny thing about secrets & keeping them is they often hurt the one they are meant to protect. And they often gain power the longer we hold them in.
I'm working on letting things go for Lent. Or trying anyway. Nothing specific, just letting things go in general.
My computer hasn't worked right for days now. Something is wrong with the screen. I can tell you first hand that writing emails to you all via my cell phone is not at all fun, but at least it clears my head a bit, so I tolerate it.
Funny thing when you hugged me last night & said things will get better, I believed you. I know it will get better. It's just a matter of time really.
I have a funny feeling that after we talk & I tell you everything I will feel so much better. The crazy thing is that our friendship is so built on faith & honesty that it feels like lying by not being open & honest with you, which has seem to complicate things a bit.
Jake's alarm should be going off in a little while. Gosh, no one quite understands just how much I love him. He puts up with a lot stuff. Granted, I put up with a lot of stuff too, only in a different way.
I am so tired. I can hardly keep my eyes open. So I'm going to let go a bit & stop fighting myself, hoping that will lead to sleep.In the meantime, keep praying for me. In much need of prayers.
I love you.
Always,
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