Friday, March 12, 2010

4:00 AM Ramblings

In a little over an hour the alarm is set to go off to wake Jake from his slumber. I wish it was me - sleeping beside him, but I know any attempt to sleep now is a useless effort.

God, that man doesn't know how lucky he has it. I wish I could be more like him in some ways. I admire his uncanny ability to not worry about things daily. I love the way he can be goofy & couldn't really care less who thought what of him. But on the other hand that can be as annoying as hell.

Here is yet another night's sleep unhad. My mind consumed with thoughts, unable to quiet. Perhaps it is bc I'm in pain. Or miss Mandy. Or I'm going to church this evening to attend a farewell-to-you-Beth-thanks-for-giving-us-your-all-as-an-employee-for-ten-years-but-we-are-really-glad-you-are-staying-with-are-church-as-a-community-member party. This in general is a great thing, but I pray that she makes a smooth transition into the next phase, whatever that may be for her. In a lot of ways, I'm so happy for her.

Mostly, I think it's Mandy though. Yesterday evening, which was just hours ago, was emotional. Like a crying like I can't breathe kind of emotional. I'm here to tell tell you nothing gets easier with time. Nothing. Especially, when & where questions exists.

I need a hug. A couple of days ago, I got really sick, but I feel better now. My body still aches though. And my sleep disturbed. Hell, who am I kidding? My sleep is always disturbed.

I can't wait for Spring. Although I think it's going to rain today. The pain in my hips is a better indacater then the word of any weather man. I should go now. And at least try to snuggle up to my sleeping husband while I still can.
post signature

1 comment:

  1. ((Hugs)) I have so many days when I feel like that. My husbands head hits the pillow and he is out. He never worries! Yet he is also always busy working around the house doing things, repairing things, works and provides for us and her I am doing nothing most days. I can't because of my asthma so I am often jealous of him, his health and his passions.


Related Posts with Thumbnails