A Stepping Stone

Days turn to nights and then days again here. It is an unending cycle. It's hard to believe that it has been a week since my last entry. Valentine's Day came and went. What a wonderful day it was, although it was nothing special about it.

Jake and I spent the day together, and watch a very thought provoking movie called "Fireproof." It's a Christian based movie about marriage. I highly recommend watching it if you are a Christian or married, and it's a must see if you are both.

I have come to not mind Valentine's Day, which is a great improvement then in the past. I hated that day, more than all the rest.

It was the day one of my friends committed suicide and the day I was originally supposed to marry Mark, my "former" fiancee (same day, different years). I used the word former lightly because I think it is awkward to refer to him as that even now, many years later.

See, before we were to marry, Mark was killed by a drunk driver. I guess you could say that his death taught me many lessons. The most important lesson it taught me was my plans had nothing if little to do with God's plan and that is the plan that really mattered most of all.

I guess what changed it for me was looking at what I did have vs. what could have been. Mark was a very important part of my life, and as I see it now, a stepping stone. He very much had a purpose in my life teaching me how to love and how to be loved most of all.

I am a better person because he loved me, truly unconditionally. The ironic thing is when the pain of losing him was so fresh, so new, so deep, I couldn't imagine my life with out him.

Now, my life is not only without him but if I didn't lose him I would not have so many wonderful things in my life, like Jake and his family.

I guess it really is true - Everything does happen for a reason, although the reason may not reveal itself until years later, long after you've stepped off that stepping stone.