Jake is out of work again. I know, on here, he never was employed after his layoff last August, but he was... I just never spoke about it publicly. He had the most amazing job, which he loved. Still praying that they find away to keep him. He was in his sweet spot & I loved watching his passion emerge & for him to do what he was created to do. Still praying that something will come through. What? I do not know.
There are a lot of things that I never speak about on here that I wish I could put words to... I just want the freedom to speak them out loud. They are not secrets really, but they feel like they are. They are just things that I prefer not to share with everyone.
I have friends that are going through stuff. I am worried about them. I don't know the best way to help them, so I pray. I'm praying a lot lately. Grateful to have words to my prayers now. I am glad I have friends that are there for me, even when I retreat. Or try to anyway. Secretly, I wonder if I will ever be the same again.
People ask, how can I still praise Him? I don't know what to tell them, but the truth as I know it - how can I not praise Him? Especially in the storm? And yes - we are in a storm. One hell of a storm. Still trying to trust Him fully.
I breathe deep & wonder when will our turn come? I feel like it has been non-stop. Ashamed to admit my faith has been shaken a time or two. Have we not been faithful? Does He not know my heart? When is enough just enough?
Still I pray. I let my tears be my words when no words are to be found. What else am I to do? I have no clue. So I do what I do when I don't know what to do. In the middle of the storm - pray.
I pray. Still.
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