Friend Request

It's going to rain, I can feel it in my bones.  It's been off & on rain for days now.

From my window, I watch a man, who's wearing a wife-beater & has his long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, push an older man in a wheelchair down the middle of our one-way street. Secretly, I wonder what their stories are.

We all have a story.  Some more complicated & complex than others, but it is ours nonetheless.  We can choose to share it or not, with whomever we want.

Likewise, it is like that with our lives too.  Complicated & complex. Share it or not. Sometimes we don't have a choice of who is in our lives, other times we do.  It's just the way things happen.

People annoy me right now.  I just don't have the time, energy or desire to deal with people & their complexities when I have my own.

And, I am definitely not accepting any new friends. Request denied. Or so I thought.

I met Kate exactly a month ago yesterday.  She works at a place that I have chosen to invest my time, energy & love into. Somewhere that holds a very special place in my heart, but that's another post for another time.

When started volunteering there, I didn't expect to become friends with anyone. I didn't even try.  At all.

So imagine my surprise when Kate & I quickly became friends. It feels like we have known each other for forever.  I can't tell you how many times we have said how our friendship feels so easy.  Almost as if we're sisters.

It's been decades since I have made a friend so effortlessly, as it seems natural, totally different than my newly-formed friendships have felt in the past.  Kate & I are very alike in many ways.  Our husbands even get along.  In fact, they are similar in ways too. Go figure.

Since I'm struggling right now, I find it ironic that when I'm retreating from others, I want to be around Kate.  With all my trust issues, you would think I would run from her as fast as I can, but I don't.  Or at least I'm trying very hard not to run, wanting to hide.

She has been an amazing friend to me, which truly sounds strange given that she hasn't been my friend for long.  She probably would say the same about me.  You'd have to ask her though.  I try not to speak for my friends, especially when they can speak for themselves just fine.

With her, my walls are up, then they're down, then they're up again.  And that's okay.  It has to be at the moment, because I just don't have the energy for one more thing in my life not to be okay right now.  I'm more than grateful that she's patient with me.

So for now, as I struggle on, I give thanks all the blessings in my life.  Especially the beautiful ones that I didn't see coming.