Sunday, April 18, 2010

Embracing Grief

I don't even know what to say, besides these days ahead are going to be tough. Jake & I are fine again, like I said, we don't fight often or stay mad for long. Good thing too... don't know how I would be able to face the upcoming days without him.

I am exhausted, having entered the automatic mode - surviving the only way I know how. Truthfully, part of me wants to skip this week all together. Then part of me wants to embrace my grief with full force. I think the ladder will win out.

I've been through this so many times with other loved ones, you would think grieving would be a breeze. I am here to tell you there is nothing easy about this.

I feel bad in some way that I haven't blogged much. Not even a Wordless Wednesday or a Saying Sunday. It's just that I've been finding it hard to get my thoughts together lately. And it's difficult to write when I'm having a hard time making sense of this & that.

There are so many cool things to blog about too. Post that will stay unwritten only for the simple fact that I feel that they should have their own time - or spotlight I guess you say - without being shadowed by something else.

Rest assured, I will make it through this. Mandy's one year anniversary of her death will have come & gone by the weekend. I will still rejoyce that she is in Heaven, but still miss her here.

Knowing that one never truly gets over a loss, but through it, I will do what I do best - taking it day by day, one step at a time. All the while giving thanks to a Father who aloud such a beautiful soul to be a part of my life for nearly 20 years.

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1 comment:

  1. We make it through things like the loss of loved ones because in truth we know there is something better awaiting them and hopefully ourselves as well.

    You everyone says, "Things will get easier." Not really they just get *different*. I will always miss my Mom. And now that I have the babies...sometimes it hurts more and sometimes I feel happier because I know I couldn't stop her from leaving this world, but I know she sees what I'm doing now and she is loving her grandbabies.

    Either way, experiencing such a loss is life altering and we learn to deal with those changes the best way we know how. *Hugs* I know this weekend was hard for you.


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