The Beauty of Easter

Now that I've reached the point in time where my friend Mandy was hospitalized last year & passed away nearly a month later, I've just been taking it day by day. Some days are better than others.

I will not lie. I was not looking forward to this Easter. Not in the least. It is sad that I can not remember last Easter. I vaguely recall taking pictures of my brother-in-law's family in front of the magnolia tree in the front yard.

I don't even think we went to church. If we did I cannot remember. All that I can remember is thinking, "I hope this is not Mandy's last Easter. I hope I have more time with her. Please God, don't take away my best friend. Please don't take away another one." Weeks later she was gone. And a piece of my soul went with her.

Traditionally, mom & I have spent more Easters apart in the passing years than not. Mostly bc she has chosen to spend it with friends who don't have the greatest houses to get into with a power chair. Sometimes it really sucks to not be as mobile as I have been in the past.

As a result, the last couple of years we got to spend Easter with friends & their families. Creating moments & memories that I wouldn't trade for the world. They are priceless.

With Mandy being gone almost a year now, I've been feeling out of sorts, kind of lost. Not really sad as much as people would wrongly assume, but more just trying to work through my grief the best way I know how - by embracing it & taking one day at a time... like I said some days are better than others.

Easter rolled around this time & we really didn't have a place to go, which only mirrored how disconnected & displaced I have been feeling lately. When my friend, Beth, found out we didn't have plans, she invited us to to spend the day with her & her husband Will & their families.

{Me & Beth 3.7.2010}

I must tell about them. They are absolutely two of the most amazing people God allowed to cross my path or is it me who crossed their path? Either way...it is not hard to understand why they are who they are once you meet their families.

I still do not know what I have done to deserve such an friend that have found in Beth. Both her & Will are the most genuine, loving, passionate, real, down-to-earth, funny, creative, faith-rooted, God loving, hard working, caring & compassionate people you will ever have the privilege to meet... if you ever do.

{Will & Jake, 3.7.2010}

They have the most incredible property and beautiful house. All of which was made with love, hard work, blood, sweat & tears, since they bought their house in 2003 in "as is" condition intent on fixing up to sell it so that they can build their dream house on another lot within the 11 acre property. After awhile of putting so many hours in on the house, they decided to stay right there.

I assured Beth that even though her house was a split level & filled with many steps that somehow we would make it work, using the old phrase, "Where there is a will, there is a way."I came armed with a power chair, a manual chair, two ramps & even a set of quad canes. I assured her that everything would be fine & I was sure that God would would work everything out. And even though I had know idea how it was going to work, I knew it would.

Turns out, Easter day was beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking. After this incredibly moving, tear jerking open prayer to God, to which I did nothing but think of Mandy as big, humongous, tears ran down my cheeks spilling over & over again - much like they are now as I type this - we all ate outside. The food tasted great & Beth's thoughtfulness & creatively was all around us. Can't you tell by the Little Butter Lamb?

And as luck would have it - although I don't believe it was luck at all - my power chair just fit through her side door to her bottom level giving me access to it & a bathroom {:) Seriously. As the night wore on & the other company left, Beth & I chatted as we sat on the sofa as our men did dishes upstairs & chatted themselves. After Will went to bed, Jake came down stairs & eventually fell asleep, but Beth and I chatted on the sofa til 2 AM.

I must tell you - it has been quite a while, years even, since I felt so welcomed at someone's house. Throughout the day, I continually felt so unconditionally loved & supported, regardless of who I was, how I felt, or what I've been though.

Tears flow as I'm writing this... God is amazing. He makes sure we have what we need when we need it, just as He did when He made sure I was surrounded by the perfect people. I know, without a doubt, Mandy's in Heaven, no longer confined to a broken body with limitations. I miss her so much at times that I physically want to scream out in pain. But I know that bc she believed in Him, I will see her again. That is the beauty of sacrifice & Easter.