Just So I Know

I can't find my voice.  Not even to write a trusted friend, even though I know what I want to say.  I want the words to come.  I want the them to pour out of me like love pours out of me - effortlessly, without thought.

When did things get so complicated?  My thoughts entangle with muddled emotions.  I breath in, trying to remember what it feels like to breathe deep... trying to remember when things still made some sense.

I feel like I've lost myself or my mind or both, knowing that I've done neither is no comfort.  Slowly, the person I used to be peeks out wondering if it's safe now.

I want someone to fight for me.  Just like I would fight for them. Telling them to not give up, fight for life, it's worth it. Telling me what I know, but need to be reminded - things are tough I know, but you will make it through.

I want someone to hold my hand, just so I know they are there. Just so I know, I'm not alone.