Thursday, October 13, 2011

Good & Beautiful God

For about a year now, actually exactly a little over a year ago (September 19, 2010), I started attending a different church (GFC) from the one (CRCC) that Jake & I have grown to care & love for since 2003. For almost the whole year now, we have been double attending both churches, attending GFC on their Saturday evening services & attending CRCC on Sunday mornings. Both churches are far away from where we live, just in opposite directions, but GFC is closer & easier for us to get to, making it easier for us to be involved in.
After dad died, I needed a change. At the time, CRCC was talking about serving & Genesis. And honestly, my head, at the time,just wasn't at serving or weeks later, at "the beginning". I was numb, in shock, at "the end" of the dad's life, in the deep darkness of the beginning of grief.

Now, at CRCC, we have deep loving relationships. Very supportive & loving relationships, but at the time, I needed so, oh so, much more. I was tired. I was exhausted physically emotionally & mentally. I was tired of feeling loved & cared for & getting all this support on Sunday, but nothing during the middle of the week. Don't get me wrong... I had friends & a very brave few stood by me through it all, but I needed more.

So with nervousness & a somewhat heavy heart, we ventured to GFC for the first time. And even though I truly felt like I was cheating on the church that I loved so dearly, we reluctantly went to GFC for the first time. Without doubt, I was overwhelmed. CRCC only has a couple hundred people on any given Sunday, GFC a few THOUSAND. Yes, it is definitely, a mega church; however, this is part of the message I heard that day:

'Here's what I know: We are all in different places. Maybe you are in the midst of a really difficult place saying, 'God, where are you? Where are you in all of this?' And you know what He says? He says 'I am here. I have overcome the world. I desire to give you peace, & wholeness & healing. Lean into my goodness; And you may have to endure difficulty, but I am with you. I will never forsake you & I am good.' 
Pastor Danny O’Brien
Sermon:God Is Good
Series: A Good & Beautiful God
September 19, 2010

And I never left. I never left, but the truth is I was feeling discontent at CRCC before dad died. I've even wrote about that discontentment on here before. I don't know if I could ever officially leave either church now bc I love them both, just for different reasons.

And here is what I know - my God, the God that I know & love, is without question the most loving & giving God that I have ever known. Through out this year, my world has been shattered & I have been brought to my knees, only to make me rebuild it again, different than before.

He has put people in my life, who have loved & cared for me, even when I was not able to love & care for myself. I am lucky to be connected with two incredible churches. The people that are in my life now, & whom are supportive, love us no matter the circumstance. This still surprises me each time it happens.

However, when it does happen - I am reminded that My God is a good & beautiful God & I'm forever loved by Him.  Something we all need to be reminded of from time to time.
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