Stays With You

{Happy Birthday, Mandy. Hope you're throwing a huge party in Heaven. I will forever miss you, but your love will be with me forever too.}

In memory of

Mandy L. Ways

10/12/76 - 4/23/09

{Mandy, At Outback Steakhouse 12.7.07}

Picture your best friend. The one who gets you without having to say one word. Who loves you freely & without any condition. The one who you can be absolutely crazy with, laugh until you pee, no matter your day, even when it's difficult.The one who has been there through it all from your parent using you as a punching bag to the man you were to marry getting killed... now, imagine them gone.

And then a little over a year later, your dad dies, you still can't have a child, & all you want is your best friend. You want her bc you know that she wouldn't be like most friends & disappear from your life or not reach back when you reach out, just bc your dad died. No, not her. She is different.

Imagine walking around wounded. Only no one can see. You go about your day like everything is fine, but it's not. Something is missing. You have changed. The world is still the same. Your best friend is in Heaven. You dad is there too. And oh, for good measure let's just throw in your aunt. You mothers best friend. The one person who understood your mom better than the rest. The one who has known you & loved you before day one.

People go about their lives. They move on. And so have you. You have moved on bc it's the right thing to do, even when it is difficult & you know that it's the only thing to really do... bc it's about living your life, not about dying.

But deep inside, you just miss them. And you know that you always will. You know bc that's what life is about. Its about loving someone so deeply that their love stays with you forever.