Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Letter To A Treasured Friend

My Dearest Deanna,

I have wanted to write you for sometime now. And for some reason I miss you terribly today. I've been thinking about you a lot these past couple of weeks. Seven years seem way too long to not see or talk to someone who was once your best friend. It is strange how some people just drift apart for no apparent reason at all & then so much time passes & then months turn into years.

You would be so proud of me. I am so different from when we last saw each other. I no longer have depression &, Dee, I'm happy in my life. I love my husband Jake & we have been trying for a family for 3 years now. We haven't had a easy marriage, but we stick it out & know that with each other & God we can make it through anything. I so love him deeply & don't know what I would do without him, & I know for a fact he feels the same.

Mom & I have a good relationship now (at least it is so much better than the one before) that I am out of the house & let me tell you just how great forgiveness is. A couple of years ago, I told her, "Mom, you were the best Mom you knew how to be when you knew how to be it." Forgiveness is such an incredible thing, but honestly, I think it has done more for me than it has for her.

I would tell you about my Dad too, but right now I'm at a loss of words about him. See, he died just over a month ago on Aug 13th. My world has been turned upside down & flipped around & it is unlike any other loss grief I have ever felt. Then to add to it, my mom's friend of over 40 years, whom I loved like an aunt, died 9 days later & I buried them 7 days apart.

I can honestly say that I'm still numb & that's okay for right now. The emotions will come when they come & I'm just holding onto my faith, reaching out to friends & hoping they reach back. Honestly, though, even if they don't - I know that God will give me what I need when I need it & surround me with the perfect people & support when the time comes.

I am so glad that you & Chris are married & am delighted to see your love & family grow. I couldn't be more happy for you. I have often thought about you guys over the years & hoped that you were doing well. I am not sure where you are living at the moment, but I would love to see you & catch up or something of the sort.

I hope this letter finds you healthy & happy & know that even though the years have passed, you will always find a friend in me. You can always call me, text me, write me whatever. I will always be here for you. After all, that's what a best friend does, even if we drifted apart over the years.

Deanna, you were such a wonderful friend to me, even when I really didn't deserve such the incredible friend you were to me. You saw me through some really horrible & dark times in my life & I I'll always have such gratitude for the love you have shown me. So, let me take this time to tell you thank you for everything you have done for me bc it has help make me the person I am today.

And as always, I love you.

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