Overload

I am all over the place lately, which is neither a good nor bad thing - just exhausting.

Problem is just like I'm all over the place, so is my head. Calming my body is one thing, calming my mind is a total different ball game. It is always easier said than done. Always.

I can't stop thinking about family & friends, both here & gone, that I miss. In fact, for whatever reason, huge tears cascade down my face as I'm writing this. And I'm not even sure I can tell you why.

I am so on overload.

I had a great weekend spending time with family & friends, some which I have not seen since our wedding 5 years & others even longer. It was amazing actually.

As crazy as it may seem, I miss the family I used to have. And I so desperately miss the family that I want to have, if that's even possible. That is the only want I know how to put it, & even that doesn't fit well.

In a couple of hours one of my best friends, Beth, is coming over & then all 4 of us, including Beth's husband, Will & Jake will meet for dinner. This is just what I need. Sometime with friends who we haven't see since the end of June, which has been way too long in my opinion.

So, hopefully, by tomorrow, I'll feel a little better. Not so overloaded. And more able to focus. One thing is for sure though - even now, I know I am loved & care for by people in my life, no matter how much I miss them.