Letters For Christmas

Dear Mandy,

My mind is consumed with thoughts of you. What is Christmas like in Heaven? Limited with my earthly vision, I cannot imagine the glorious & beautiful the celebration is there. My grief is unbearable today. Tears flow freely down nonstop. It still feels like a nightmare that I long to wake from - still.

It's hard to believe that it has been 7 months & two days since you've left us, exactly down the minute of this post. I wish there is something I could do to make the emptiness I feel to subside. It has been years since I have felt pain this deep. Even though I know that you are healed, healthy & happy in heaven, it doesn't make me miss you any less.

Everything about this season is difficult, even the shopping. I see you in everything & can't help but remember where we went to shop for Christmas last December, the errands we would run, the cards you sent, the presents for Pee Wee & Jesse that you would insist on buying - not knowing it would be the last Christmas season you would spend here on earth with us.

I wish I had the words to say how deeply & intense my feelings are today, but words like that just do not exists.

All of My Love,


Dear Momma Nancy,

Oh, how I miss you. My thoughts travel to your precious family & love ones left here. This season must be unbearable, especially for Heather, Daddy Don, & Corrinne. This grief for you is so new & fresh, I can't imagine how people are making it through.

It's funny how my grief is so deep bc it is impacted by each loss of this year, but all I can mange is to think of others who loved you & wondering how they are making it through this day, expecially since they also lost your mom 5 months before they lost you.

I am glad you are not in pain anymore. You fought so long & hard for so long. Now you are free of pain, but for those of us that are still down here on earth missing you as every second goes by, the pain still remains.

For someone who always seems to have words for everything, I can only think of one now...

Butterfly,