Oh, how it seems strange to fathom that so much time has passed. How in the world could it be 2 years already? So surreal.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about you & miss you. You are, & always will be, a part of me. Oh, how I wish I could see what you see & know what you know, bc without doubt, it's got to be something.
This year has been unbelievably tough for me for many reasons & it has made me miss you even more. This year has taught me that friends like you are few & far between. And our friendship was undoubtedly something rare that I will always cherish.
God, I miss you so. You have no idea. Or maybe you do, I don't know. I still can't believe you are not here. More often than not, there are days when I walk around dumb founded trying to figure out what is a miss. Then I remember.
It's you. You are what's missing.
I didn't think it was possible to miss you more than I already did, then dad died & everything fell apart bc it started with dad, but didn't end there.
Life is funny that way.
It's so ironic that you have to loose what's important to you to find what's important to you. Even more ironic is that when you lose you find out who matters &, more importantly, who you matter to.
You always mattered. You still do. That will never change. Either will my love for you or my undying gratefulness for you & your friendship in my life.
So, it seems like forever ago since I have blogged & I guess, in some strange way, it has been. Almost a month now.
My computer is not feeling so well at the moment & I'm not quite sure what's going on with it or how to fix it, so I have to log on to my FIL's computer & I don't like to spend a lot of time on there if I can help it.
I always find time fascinating. How it continues on despite everything. It's the one constant that is an entity of its own.
Dad has been gone for over eight months now. And in 2 days, Mandy will be gone for two years. That's crazy. I'm baffled really.
I have found, at least as it relates to me, time does not heal wounds, as the cliche implies, but rather changes things. Or perhaps it is me who changes. If I had to guess, I would say it is a little of both.
I'm just been thinking a lot about everything & everyone. I've been reflecting on a lot of stuff lately, that of which all falls under the great & all encompassing umbrella of life. And death, I suppose.
I do not have all the answers, but then again, I never claimed to. All that I am certain of is that I am changing & growing, as I struggle to find my place among the living again.
Not that I died, but when you are dealing with grieving, no matter what or who you are grieving for, it feels as if a part of you has died. And parts of me did die, in a sense.
So, here I am. As time goes on, so do I. Despite it all.
I am me. Plain and simple. I have been through a lot in life, both good things and bad, but through it all - I have learned many lessons.
I love God and know that He has great plans for me. Although I am disabled & have CP, that is only one part of me. It does not define me as a person & never will.
I am both compassionate and passionate. I am always there to be a shoulder to lean on or to be a sounding board. More often than not, I let my heart rule my head. I'm caring, to a fault and will pretty much do anything for anyone, but don't take advantage of me.